The Bucket List | 2POC2QUEERS Episode 1 (Pilot)
I wanted to preface before I reboot my blog. This blog is in addition to and resource for Annie Mack and my new podcast #2POC2QUEERS. I am, and will always want to provide the best information and resources for folks to be able to discern and learn in order to be better humans.
As a person who has professionally provided Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Work in various different capacities and for almost 2 decades it's difficult for me to just walk away from the Work. What I have realized is that I have done harm with the type of DEI training that I have provided in some spaces. Many of the trainings that I help to create and implement was always white centered and trying to insure that I wouldn't push or hurt white people's feelings when it came to confronting their own implicit biases. There are people who are allies and supporters of historically marginalized communities who were open and receptive to those trainings and did learn and grow to become better allies because of it.
However, the folks who continue to support oppressive institutions, who perpetuate white supremacy, who don't understand their own privilege, or for those who don't believe they are "those people," did not learn, grow, or take away something valuable from those trainings. What I think they did learn, is to be calcified in their own belief that mandated DEI trainings were just an inconvenience to their lives. And that they are not racist so they don't need to learn to be better humans. If you don't need to think about your own prejudices and how it hurts or harm people, why would you do it? You don't!
In the second act of my life, I want to apologize to my communities that I feel I have failed you. We continue to struggle. We continue to be marginalized and oppressed. By being subjects of bans, perpetually being attacked in public spaces, and having to heal from the trauma of the colonization of our minds and bodies. We continue to be gaslighted to believe that we are actually part of the predominantly white communities we live in. And then, white folks like to make sure they let us know we are not. By not voting for BIPOC folks into public office, by not appointing BIPOC people as Poet Laureates, by a white elected leader telling a table of educators that, "Vangie hates white people," because I fight for racial justice. I am done trying to make white people feel comfortable around me when white people have no idea how they take up space or make me feel unsafe when I am around them.
You can only spend so many years hitting your head against a wall trying to teach people to be nice to each other. To treat people who are different from them with humanity, dignity, kindness, and compassion. It's crazy making to know people would rather be asshats and bigots because they need to feel superior over others and to uphold white mediocrity. Power corrupts.
I am sorry I didn't push harder. But, it's not too late. So, what I plan to do moving forward is to create safe and authentic spaces for BIPOC folks, queers, immigrants, people with disabilities, people who are unhoused, people who are historically under-represented, people who have been historically oppressed and marginalized. That's what our podcast is about and hopefully people will learn, discern, and be better humans from it. If not the struggle continues.
One of my Bucket List items is to do a podcast with Annie Mack. Our plan is to do a pilot and see if people like it and if they do, maybe we'll do more episodes. What's on YOUR Bucket List?
The dictionary definition of a bucket list is, "a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime." (source: wikitionary)
Annie Mack had coined the phrase of creating a "Bucket List of Desire," she was referring to the idea of becoming more vulnerable and being more intentional in intimate experiences.
I brought up a #TiKToK video I watched that talked about how all the choices we make in this present moment shapes our future, and choices that we made in the past shapes our present moment, which in turn effects everything we do. So whatever we choose to do in the past and present is always shaping our future. However, all we can truly do is just focus on the present moment. Karma is not about paying for bad behavior you did in a past life, but the fact we have to deal with the consequences of our life choices. Good or bad.
I also brought up the book "Five People You Meet in Heaven," by Mitch Albom. I had read a quote from the book that made me think about my bucket list. Why do we do the things we do? What are we doing with this one life we are given? What are we taking away from it when the end eventually does come for us? This quote made me feel a little bit better about losing loved one's from my life. I always am sadden by the fact that I can't make new memories with the important people I've lost to death, but I have to remember that I have these precious memories I made with them when they were alive. I get to relive those memories over and over again. That thought comforted me because I did struggle with grief and loss for a long time.
“Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those scenes weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. "Life has to end," she said. "Love doesn't.”
When I put my bucket list together when I was in my 30s my life was different, I geographically lived in a different place, I was with a long-term partner, I was finishing school, and my dad was dying. My life looked different and who I was, was different, too. The essence of who I am is the same, however my experiences have shaped me into the person that I am today. My job, where I live, who I choose to spend my time with. I'm now living in the Midwest, single, and starting my professional career all over again. My bucket list will always contain travel, learning, and experiencing new adventures. But, my intentions are always to reach those goals so I can enhance my life and be a better human. That's what this human experiment is about. How we as spiritual beings navigate this physical world. Annie Mack and I hope we do it with some grace, beauty, joy, and humor. That's all we can really hope for.
How to Create a Bucket List? Suggested by Vangie Castro
Don't limit yourself by location, and/or money.
I like to believe the universe always finds a way to make things you need happen in your life to happen.
Put some simple and attainable goals
It can be demotivating if you can't check off things from your bucket list
Some list items can be very basic but something you've put off for later. Remember, one day later may not come.
Go as big as you want. Why not?
When you actually allow yourself to dream big and audacious it may also enlighten you to some insights into yourself, what you may be missing in your life currently, and why you think this big goal would affect your life.
It's a great opportunity for self-reflection
Don't limit yourself to just physical actions and goals. You can also do some spiritual growth goals, or like Annie said, "Bucket List of Desires."
Pick some weird things
At the end of the day it's about what kind of experiences you want to come out of the choices and activities you've listed.
Have fun and good luck! We'll see you on the flip side!
Thank you for reading and I truly appreciate you and the support you have given me over the years. Let's keep making beautiful memories together as we cross off things on our bucket list!
Learn more about us:
Annie Mack http://www.anniemackmusic.com
Vangie Castro https://www.vangiecastro.com
2PoC2Queers Podcast Channel https://2poc2queers.buzzsprout.com/
Intro and Outro music "Shadow of a Kingdom," by Annie Mack
If you'd like to sponsor our show contact us at email@example.com