Happy Mardi Gras Lent 2023
I've been pretty quiet for the past month or more. I've been getting ready for the next phase of my life I suppose. Post campaign-global pandemic Vangie. I think after the CDC said that people who are fully vaccinated don't have to mask or social distance anymore it opened the door to folks thinking the world is going back to normal. But, what is normal? I'm not even sure if I can remember what my life was like before March 2020. Before the pandemic my life was already turning upside down and I was trying to survive just living my life as is. I've really been able to learn who I am outside all the stuff and distraction of everyday business. I have spent the last three years learning how to enjoy being alone with myself.
Someone told me once, It's not up to us to give others forgiveness. Sure we can forgive children when they make mistakes they are children. We can tell them, "I forgive you. Don't do it again." But, as adults we should know better and when we know better we should do better. That's what Maya Angelo said, anyway. I've come to realize if you don't want to forgive someone, you don't have to. And that thing about having to forgive to move one, and you're doing it for yourself is a bunch of privileged hooey. If one seeks forgiveness and redemption that's a road best taken alone. I am in no place to forgive anyone except myself. I can forgive myself for staying in s#itty situations longer than I needed to or for making mistakes when I knew better. That's all the power I have.
We shouldn't be making excuses for other people to be s#itty human beings just because. Why? That whole forgive but don't forget line of thinking is very flawed. Don't forgive. Don't forget. Hold people accountable and force folks to change their behavior if they truly want forgiveness. But, don't just say okay and let them be jerks over and over again. That's why we can't have nice things. Because we as a society are invested in upholding mediocre white supremacy and toxic masculinity. Ugh. Is that what you want? Do you all think that the Dude-bro culture is so awesome that we should protect it from being held accountable for being oppressive towards females and basically everyone else?
Remember Bill and Ted, the ultimate Dude-Bros. They always said,
"Be excellent." However, the current dude-bro culture is just a bunch of mediocre dudes who try to act like 20 year old's in their 40s. Gross.
Do better. Be better. Be excellent.
Thank you for attending my most excellent BILL & TED Talk.
Happy Mardi Gras!!!